Just One More Bite… Or Not :(

Am I the only one who dreads the gym because they’re always starting over? I know I can’t be the only one that has set a goal of no fast food, but ended up breaking down for some excellent customer service from Chick-Fil-A after a long day of grocery shopping with the kids.

Now days I find myself sounding like a 70-year-old woman who talks about the “old days” often. It usually goes something like…

“Back when I was in high school, I was in great shape! I could go to Chipotle right after school and then head to cheerleading practice like it was nothing. I even tried running track just for fun.”

More often you’ll hear me say…

“I was doing so well with my fitness and health before I had Jayla. I lost 30 pounds and actually remained active while pregnant. Once I gave birth, it went all down hill. “

It’s been over a year now, and I am so ready to have a successful health and fitness lifestyle. I’ve started over several times, but I’m not giving up. If only I could be as passionate about the gym as I am with getting a burrito bowl from Chipotle. *SIGH* However, I am passionate about being healthy. I struggle everyday, but I ultimately want to be HEALTHY. If my appearance falls in line with that I will be ecstatic, but my goal is to just be a healthier woman. As I’ve stated in previous posts (Breaking Generational Curses Through Affirmations for example), I struggled with low self-esteem for several years. It grew to a genuine lack of love for myself. I didn’t love the way I looked or who I was. Today, I believe it was body dysmorphia because when I look back at pictures from those times, I looked amazing and was in great shape. We’ll dig deeper into that another day. Since I’ve had my breakthrough, I’ve vowed to never fall back into that negative space. I now understand that everyone’s bodies aren’t created the same, and the scale can show a high number while you are in the best shape of your life.

I vowed to love myself at every stage and to stop comparing myself to others. So with that being said, my goal of losing weight, being fit and healthy is not to be a part of the new wave of veganism or the keto diet (no shade to those who truly follow those lifestyles), but for myself and my family. I want my husband to have a healthy, happy wife. I want my children to have an energetic, healthy mother. If I can help it, I refuse to be on loads of medication or being taken care of daily by family because of poor health. I also intend on continuing with my goal of breaking generational curses by breaking the cycle of obesity and poor health in my family.

So no matter how many times I backslide and miss the gym, I will persevere. My life… my family’s lives…. are all on the line. The point is to never quit regardless of all the times I have an unsuccessful day. For me, it’s really a mental thing. In the beginning of my journey, I have to break my goals up and work on them 30 days at at time. For example, I will eliminate bread, rice and junk foods for 30 days in order to create a habit. In the meantime, I find healthier alternatives to replace those items to help my cravings. I repeat this process for however long I need to in order to have discipline and a stronger will to suppress my cravings. It’s a process and is really taxing on me mentally, physically and emotionally so I use it as a time to grow stronger in my faith. I use God as my biggest accountability partner. Why? Because I believe God can reveal to you the reasons why you lack discipline, why you eat the way you do, and why you are so willing to give up on yourself. Through that process, you are able to get a revelation and receive guidance on how to move forward successfully. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it sure does work for me.

I’m far from an expert, but sometimes having a successful fitness journey relies on where you are spiritually, mentally and emotionally. A lot of us have underlying issues that make putting ourselves in healthier positions a difficult process. Seeking a therapist would be vital.

In addition, a support team is MAJOR. My team is small, but mighty. I like to have loved ones who will hold me accountable, but also won’t judge me when I miss the mark and have setbacks. Most are on their own fitness journeys also, so it’s great to get some encouragement or a push when I’m feeling lazy. Like right now… *rolls eyes*

I write this after missing a full week at the gym and eating poorly. Both of my children took turns getting sick, I attended a conference for moms, and well… laziness. Uggh I wish you could burn several calories when walking back and forth to the fridge and while eating.

If you’re a prayer, pray for your girl!